here

a poem

you said you wouldn't cry 
that you couldn't do that
mascara stains my eyes
i hate to see you hurt
so i hurt with you
because i couldn't stop the shot

we knew and that's the worst part
you were prepared
but i wasn't
not to hear those things from him
not for the tears that follow
not for all of this

God has a plan
it will work out for good
but right now, it's hard
hard to swallow it isn't happening
hard to understand why
hard to breathe

when your throat tightens 
when you flee into her arms
when you know it's never the same 
when you know you're the only one
who believes it isn't over
when you plead with God for your outcome

maybe I'll get to say
"i told you so" 
maybe all those winks will come true
but maybe it is over
maybe this is the end
maybe you'll never stop loving him

and I'll be here
in the middle 
knowing I'm not a shield
or a sword
i can't help you fight your battles
so God help me trust 
you can fight them yourself 

until the ink spills

Scarlett Parker